My parents are Catholic and that makes me one too. I grew up going to church, learning all the prayers and rituals. I was even in a private catholic school in the Philippines from kindergarten until 4th grade, La Consolacion College-Kalookan. When my mom died, we didn’t go to church as much as we did when my mom was still alive, until eventually we just stopped, but I’d pray every night. When we moved here in the US, my step mom made us go once in awhile. And then it just died down too. But I would still pray every night before I go to sleep.
Yesterday, was one of the most weirdest and awkward situation I’ve ever been so far this year. I have never been into a group praying even in the Philippines, where it’s very common for the oldies. You know when the oldies gather and pray in someone’s house. I never knew why they would do that, and I’d see it in Filipino horror movies, it gives that creepy feeling while watching it lol.
So, my boyfriend’s mom wanted to do some praying. They have a decent altar in their house with Jesus,Santo Niino, crosses and Mama Mary figurines. I told him, Why do we have to pray? I believe praying is when you want to, not when you’re forced. Because his mom just said suddenly that we were going to pray and I only wanted to other things with him. He said, What’s wrong with group praying? I said, I don’t know. I’m just not into that kind of stuff. I pray when I want to. And so we all gathered, his cousins, aunts, grandpa, grandmas, his bro and parents. His mom was the “leader” so she led us with praying. They even have booklets of prayers, readings and songs in it. The first thing we did was sang that Ave Maria song. There were giggling and snorting and smiling around because it was just funny at first. Then we went on with the praying and the reading. Then the song Hail Mary, Gentle Woman, that song is actually nice. It is very soothing… And finally to the part where you tell Mama Mary all your problems and stuff.. the atmosphere became serious.. we were praying for their family members who are sick.. you’d hear sniffles and crying out of nowhere.. I didn’t know what to do.. At first, I was like, okay.. they really are lost, aren’t they? they really want mama mary’s help.. even my boyfriend became teary eyed and I was becoming teary eyed too just because they were doing it., but I told myself, you’re being too sensitive. you don’t even know them that well.. why are you feeling that way for them? be strong. don’t cry. Finally, it ended and the relatives left, and we went to sleep.
Indeed, I have become too soft.. My step mom, my mom is still not back home from the rehab center. She is still recovering from her sickness… We just want her home..
Whatever It Takes 
My Life In Your Sight 