I thought I was a VIP

Saturday, October 4th

My boyfriend went to work while I stayed at home with his parents. It was my day off and it was my turn to come over and sleep over. They invited me to go to their church’s get together at the park. Free food for everyone. (They are members of the church. They do a lot of volunteering). I obliged. I didn’t want to disappoint them nor give a bad impression.

They used their own car and picked up some friends while I took my car and my dog with me. We got there first. I didn’t know anyone and my dog was barking like crazy (how embarrassing) so I walked her around while waiting for the parents. It took a long time and it was a very hot day. I didn’t shave my legs and I didn’t get to do my toe nails done so I was wearing a t shirt, jeans and shoes with socks. Boy, was it warm! And I was getting annoyed. I called my bf at work and told him to tell them I’m going to another park where my dog would feel at ease and so would I. He said to wait, but I told him my dog is embarrassing me by barking like crazy and that I don’t give a crap about the stupid free food. I was very frustrated that he wasn’t there and I was feeling forced to do what they like that I don’t like doing. Just not my thang!

And so I drove to the other park, about 15mins away. It is a pretty big park, with 2  big ponds and small islands in the center. Walking around is about 30mins with a few stops, 20mins without stopping. I thought it would be cooler there, but boy, my mistake! I was sweating even more and my dog was whining because she was tired and it was pretty hot. There were other people that looked comfortable with their clothes, but I pretended I was okay. I pulled my dog a few times because she was stopping to rest and also barking at some people.

My bf called and said if my dog continues barking then don’t go back to the other park. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see the screen of my cellphone because the sun was so bright so when it rang I picked it up thinking it was my boyfriend. It was his mother telling me they were waiting for me there and that we should come back, that it didn’t matter if the dog was barking because there were other dogs there. I couldn’t get out of the conversation so with heavy steps, I went back to my car and drove back.

Bad luck seems to follow me that time, I got there and there was a big Ass line for free food. I saw my bf’s dad serving, but I didn’t butt in. The mom said I should get in line to get food. And I was just like, uh I’ll wait until it shortens. But it just kept longer and the mom saw the line was long so went to “serve” with the dad. She left me behind with her friends so I just said, uhm I’m gonna get in line….. I was thinking the mom or anyone would stop me and say I could get food since they were serving, but no…. I was in line, under the very hot sun and air, for what seemed like forever, just to end up getting a burger and some chips. When I was almost there, the dad saw me and asked if I wanted anything, I said oh no it’s ok. I’m almost there. Like hello, why asked now? I felt so embarrassed because he went to our table and I saw how they all got food and everything. I’m sure they were talking about me. In my mind, I felt like I’m about to explode but I kept it all in. Then the next thing I know, the mom asked if I wanted some drinks and dessert because she’d get them for me. I’m just like, uhm yeah, whatever is there, with a forced smile. What else could I do? I was already in that situation and I just let it happen.

That whole time, I was texting my boyfriend telling him what happened. He was just apologizing and that he felt bad I had to get in line. I just said I wish you were here with me.

I stayed there until it was over. I went home first and immediately went straight to take a shower because I felt so dirty and smelly. I even took my dog with me because I felt bad for her too. On top of it all, my boyfriend came home late.

ahh things I end up doing with his parents when he’s not around.

Written Wednesday: “Why a Man Should Never Object to a Woman Splitting the Bill”

ezrahlaurifer:

My boyfriend won’t let me split our bill or pay the whole bill. He always pays, but I feel bad that he might think I can’t pay when I want to.

Originally posted on the bippity boppity beautiful blog:

Carl Holsoe, “At the Breakfast Table,” date unknown. Oil on canvas.


If a woman ever suggests paying for her dinner when she is on a date with a man,

he is quick to object.

Why even dare propose such a thought?

Of course not.

No.

Never!

Yet why does this protestation occur?

Cultural obedience.

Money dost rule.

Chivalry is dead.

God save the queen—she cannot save herself!

’Tis a cost too high.

My paying for dinner does not transform you,

does not change your gender,

does not change your biology.

You are still a man,

Even if I split the bill.

There are kindnesses;

There are actions, of course.

But that does not mean that they should be demanded, by either side.

You will not woo me by buying me

a six cent sweet or

a sixty dollar six-course meal

at a quarter past six.

Owe you I not;

Therefore…

View original 62 more words

After 2 months of waiting, I finally got my period. This is the first time I didn’t get it for a long time. I don’t know what happened there. I took pregnancy tests and were all negative. I really thought I was pregnant or have some kind of disease. I told myself if I’m pregnant or not, it is up to God to decide what is best for me. He knows if I’m ready or not. My period came so that tells me deep inside I am not ready. Maybe I didn’t get it because I was very stressed out.

Reminiscing

I just turned on the speaker. I connected my phone to it through bluetooth. I searched for Eraserheads in Youtube (after watching The Reunion, I missed listening to them). I am writing while trying to sing along. Oh my gulay. I feel like a little kid again. Feel na feel ko lahat ng songs nila.. na ako yung mga babaeng nasa song nila. I will always love the E-Heads, as well as the PNE and Rivermaya, and oh, Side-A! I grew up listening to all of them. Sadly, I have never attended any of their concerts. I have never seen them in person. How I wish one day I would get to see each band, before I die! When I have kids, I will make them listen to them. Hindi pwedeng, hindi.

Ewan ko ba, kung bakit.. pero sobrang miss ko makinig ng songs nila. It really brings back my childhood memories, yung no stress life ng isang bata… Maybe, I am just being emotional right now. Baka hormones ko lang…? Ewan.. Siguro nga… Baka dahil kasi… tesbun ako????

Sorry! I haven’t been updating. It is so hot here in Los Angeles and I didn’t feel like doing anything. The heat is making me feel lazy. It can go up to 100+℉. And then, the outlets in our bedroom weren’t working because of too much power being used from tv, fan, ac all at the same time. It was like that for like 2 1/2 weeks. The manager was lazy and inconsiderate so my dad’s friend ended up fixing it. Now, we have the ac plugged to the bathroom outlet and everything else in the bedroom. Supposedly, our room’s outlets weren’t designed to have a powerful electronic like the AC. Something about having a low power or whatever??

My boyfriend came back from his fire assignment that lasted about a month, maybe 2 weeks ago. We have been spending time together during our day offs. He took me out to dinners and bought me bags from TJ Maxx like Nine West and Steve Madden. I love them! I let him spoil me this time lol. I told him the reason he bought me things are because he’s going out to another fire assignment for awhile again and he said no. He might, though. His co-workers left a few days ago to another again, during his day off, and so he’s in another fire station, and that fire station is #1 on a strike team meaning they are going to be the first one to leave when there’s another big fire assignment somewhere far. Siiiiigh.

My family and I are planning to move. we are currently looking now.. It is very expensive now here in LA. They don’t want to move to Lancaster, where the apartment rent is equivalent to a house rent there! I am so frustrated and stressed out. Sigh.