Reminiscing

I just turned on the speaker. I connected my phone to it through bluetooth. I searched for Eraserheads in Youtube (after watching The Reunion, I missed listening to them). I am writing while trying to sing along. Oh my gulay. I feel like a little kid again. Feel na feel ko lahat ng songs nila.. na ako yung mga babaeng nasa song nila. I will always love the E-Heads, as well as the PNE and Rivermaya, and oh, Side-A! I grew up listening to all of them. Sadly, I have never attended any of their concerts. I have never seen them in person. How I wish one day I would get to see each band, before I die! When I have kids, I will make them listen to them. Hindi pwedeng, hindi.

Ewan ko ba, kung bakit.. pero sobrang miss ko makinig ng songs nila. It really brings back my childhood memories, yung no stress life ng isang bata… Maybe, I am just being emotional right now. Baka hormones ko lang…? Ewan.. Siguro nga… Baka dahil kasi… tesbun ako????

Sorry! I haven’t been updating. It is so hot here in Los Angeles and I didn’t feel like doing anything. The heat is making me feel lazy. It can go up to 100+℉. And then, the outlets in our bedroom weren’t working because of too much power being used from tv, fan, ac all at the same time. It was like that for like 2 1/2 weeks. The manager was lazy and inconsiderate so my dad’s friend ended up fixing it. Now, we have the ac plugged to the bathroom outlet and everything else in the bedroom. Supposedly, our room’s outlets weren’t designed to have a powerful electronic like the AC. Something about having a low power or whatever??

My boyfriend came back from his fire assignment that lasted about a month, maybe 2 weeks ago. We have been spending time together during our day offs. He took me out to dinners and bought me bags from TJ Maxx like Nine West and Steve Madden. I love them! I let him spoil me this time lol. I told him the reason he bought me things are because he’s going out to another fire assignment for awhile again and he said no. He might, though. His co-workers left a few days ago to another again, during his day off, and so he’s in another fire station, and that fire station is #1 on a strike team meaning they are going to be the first one to leave when there’s another big fire assignment somewhere far. Siiiiigh.

My family and I are planning to move. we are currently looking now.. It is very expensive now here in LA. They don’t want to move to Lancaster, where the apartment rent is equivalent to a house rent there! I am so frustrated and stressed out. Sigh.

When we do laundry

Boy, we really empty out our closets then we wash our clothes. Every month is the time we do laundry. We go to a laundromat. This is like a family tradition. There are 4 of us, my parents and my sister. Each of us had a month’s worth of clothes. My sister always have the most. She uses a lot of scrubs and under shirts.
I was surprised about my laundry because it was only half. I even questioned everyone if we didnt forget anything in the dryers or washers. Does that mean I don’t change a lot? No. I just don’t change like crazy like my sister does.  And she stays home after work!! I go out before or after work sometimes and I don’t wear the same clothes/underwear.
When I go to my boyfriend’s house, I bring my dirty clothes because they have a washer and a dryer. He bribes me sometimes to go there and stay there because I know how badly I need to do my laundry. He says it’s so he can see me too. Tsk.

Here’s to friendship…

On the day of my mom’s birthday celebration, my gay friend and I were talking in text about what to do for that night. I said to ask our other friends if they are available and maybe we can hang out in their house. Then I didn’t reply because I got busy with picking up our family friends that don’t have a car and setting up the stuff at the place.

Then I texted him randomly, Hey we are here now. Come. I was thinking he couldn’t come because when I asked him before he said he didn’t want to. I just asked him to see maybe he changed his mind.

He replied, I thought that was dinner. 

I said, no lunch! 

Then he replied, Nvm. Mom cooked.

I got really annoyed so I said, Aw really? So mean.

I invited you a long time ago.

Arte mo. You always want to hang out with your socialite friends.

Daya mo.

This is more important than partying with your friends. family and friends get together.

He replied, Gaga. I really thought it was dinner. That’s why I asked what time because after, we go with friends later

I said, We are still here. Bilisan mo.

San ba mamaya.

Hoy

He said, Wala. Di sure. No reply from them. hays.

Then later at night, he said he’s gonna follow us at our friend’s house. An hour later, our friend S called him. In the phone call, he said he’s doing something. Then someone in the background said, Hes sucking my dick! Then S laughed and said, HAHAH. Suck him harder and get over here.

Then I texted him, Asan ka na. We starting.

Bilisan mo.

You’re missing out.

Our other friend called him and we realized he wasn’t coming anymore. I texted him, Gaga. You chose friends over a random guy? 

Messed out

Up*.

Now I texted him all these, drunk. LOL. I didn’t realize it until I am writing this now. I got home around 3am and I got a reply from him saying, SO!!!???

THEN, me being drunk, I got all heated up and started saying stuff in the phone POLITELY. Then he would reply RUDELY. It got me thinking HARD. I was already drunk and I was trying to understand what was going on exactly. I finally realized that maybe it wasn’t him but his friend who likes to use his cellphone and talk shit to me. So that friend and I kept going at it in text. I was all calm while the other was not. Then I got a message saying, it wasnt me. sorry minumura ko na sila. But it was already too late. My gay friend said, I got mad at you also because I felt really uninvited at that party… etc. (Before I kept reminding him about it and one time he said disgustingly that he didn’t want to go to a buffet and that he might have plans with other people.) I knocked out.

Then later that day when I sobered up.. I looked back at the exchanged messages then I replied saying stuff about our friendship wasn’t true to him, that I should let go of our friendship because he chose those friends, etc. I was crying the whole time I was telling him things. I didn’t want to lose him, but if he is happy with his gay friends and they can’t can’t accept our friendship, I would let him go. Then he replied things like he puts me in the forever friend file list and we are still gonna be friends no matter what. Hala sige Oh my, I cried like a river this time. He said he admits that he hasn’t been giving me his attention as a friend and that he spent so much time with them, etc. Sige I cried even more. Baha na It’s a flood now.

A couple of days later, he texted, U still mad.

I replied, check your fb.

I told him things about how I feel. Other than our misunderstanding it led to me and his friend, D. He and I had a misunderstanding in our first meeting and this person kept a grudge on me since then. We never saw each other either since that incident either. I told my gay friend that everything will completely be okay once his friends apologizes about sabotaging our friendship. He said he already told his friend about it and his friend hasn’t done anything about it yet… Right now, I deleted my gay friend in his first account in fb and his second account already blocked me even before I get to delete his first account. I just told him about this blocking issue and he said it wasn’t him and that I blocked him. I told him to check his block list and maybe his friend D, blocked me. He didn’t reply anymore

Her birthday

..Went well. I am grateful to those who came for my mom’s birthday. Her long time friends. Some I like, some I don’t like. Oops. We celebrated it in an Asian buffet. There was a group of family, their friends, that only stayed to eat and left an hour later. They didn’t even stay for the cake. Wtf? Didn’t they know that per head in a buffet during the weekend is expensive? Were they playing stupid? That annoyed the shit out of me. My parents go to their parties and stay for a long time, yet they couldn’t do the same thing for them. It was hella rude!! I wanted to say something, but our table just shook our heads, disappointed.

Then I heard my mom talking about me to her friend, that she hasn’t seen for years, about my working hours and all that. Just like that in public. So embarrassing. It’s my life. She has no idea how I feel about my life. I’m upset and disappointed in her. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to ruin her party.

My mom gave away the treat bags with chocolates and a fan inside to her friends. I hope they keep it at least for awhile… I worked hard on those. By keeping it, means they value their friendship with her. If they don’t keep it then they don’t.

When we got home, she opened her gifts and decided that some of the shirts she got are too small for her. She gave it to me, but I told her to try them on first. I finally convinced her to keep them.

She… Doesn’t think of my feelings. She just doesn’t think at all.

I speak what I think sometimes, unfortunately for some people. Frank? Yeah in a way. 

Today, my co-worker D and I were on our way to this client when we bumped into one of the caregivers that works as a private, M. She was carrying a tray with dirty plates. “Oh, this is A’s tray. I was on the way down to return it it to the kitchen“, she said as she gave it towards D. I said, “Huh? Why?” I was so confused because as far as I know client A only gets service from us.  D stayed quiet. “ah I was just visiting her. To see how she was doing.” She explained as if she had to. I said, “oh I see.” Then we walked away. D chuckled and said, “You’re so mean.” I said, “what? I was really curious why she was there.” Because for some reason, I do not trust M, but I didn’t say that. Awhile back, I found M in our office with a nurse, I don’t know what they were doing or why. They came out quietly when I got there. I didn’t ask either what they wanted. After that incident, my trust in her is broken. I told D about this before but she just shrugged about it. “I think she asked A if she needs any service so she can work for her.” “Hmmm“, was all I said.

This was just one of the times that I was “mean”. Another time was when D and this other Latino caregiver were speaking in Spanish and obviously I don’t understand it. Whenever this caregiver sees D, they always talk in Spanish, it annoys the shit out of me. So whenever she’s around I supposedly give her that look that I don’t like her. D told me this. I told her directly it’s annoying that they speak in Spanish and I don’t understand. She said sorry and said the caregiver doesn’t speak English much. I told her “she has a patient that only understands English so how can she work with her? She needs to learn English.” She just shrugged and said, “I don’t know.

You see, that’s just me. I used to not speak up when I was younger, but now that I’m older, I have more confidence in talking when I am curious or have something to say.

From Dusk Till Dawn TV Series – Trailer #2″ on YouTube

From Dusk Till Dawn TV Series – Trailer #2: http://youtu.be/PHgfbUwKQNY

I am almost done watching this in Netflix. I thought it’s gonna suck, but it’s actually not that bad. Of course, the actors from the series are not the same from the movie. The ones in the series are as good though. It’s series so they added their own twists. Similarly different.